Lies, Isolation and Staying Connected

Have you found yourself stuck in negative mindsets? Do you find it hard to reach out for help when you feel overwhelmed? Do you find it easy to isolate yourself when going through hard moments? This week Dez & Carlos talk about these things and more. Check it out!

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

 Hello everyone. We are Carlos and Desiree. You're listening to Walk the Talk and we're here to talk to walk. 

Hello everybody. We are doing something a little different today. We're kind of hanging out in our back deck and so if you hear birds and background noise, it's probably that, but we figured it's kind of peaceful back here and we like to hang out back here and talk anyways, so we figured why not?

Let's just record and. Do our stuff back here. Right. So peaceful. It is. So last week we talked about freedom and healing. Mm-hmm. And truth, I believe it was. Yeah. And that was a really good episode. If you didn't get to catch that, definitely go back and listen to it. We had a really good conversation there.

So this week we are gonna also just jump in and talk. Mm-hmm. And have a. Good conversation about a lot of things that just have been on our mind and on our hearts and stuff like that. Yeah. So would you like to start or would you like me to go? 

Uh, ladies first? 

Of course. Uh, so I've had, gosh, I've had a lot of my heart lately, but, um, I guess one thing that has really been echoing a lot, and I think we talked about this last week mm-hmm.

A little bit mm-hmm. Is lies, And the way that the enemy uses lies to, to really mess with people. And that if you're not really on guard mm-hmm. And really aware the enemy can, he's so, it's annoying how he is. How he messes with people's minds and thoughts to get them to believe stuff that just completely is not true.

That is true. And I, I understand from experience that with believers, he's a lot more subtle. Yes. Way more subtle. 

Yeah. I think I said it last week. I was sharing that. Yeah. But that's something that recently that God has really opened my eyes to because he. He really set me free from a lot of that stuff myself recently, and, and I, that was the first thing I realized was a lot of stuff, certain mindsets that I had was, was just based on lies.

Mm-hmm. And it was not blatant outright, it's more like just subtly off. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And like you said, you've experienced it. I've experienced it and I've seen that so much, and I see how the enemy just, he uses that and he tries so hard to, to take you away from the body. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We both have struggled with that in the past, where like the enemy tries to just isolate you.

Yeah. He tries to get you alone and then bully you. Yeah. And then bombard you with crazy thoughts, and then, oh, you're already in a place where you're believing things that aren't true. Mm-hmm. So then it's like, boom, boom, boom. He, he hits you with this and hits you with that. Mm-hmm. And most of the time, if you're not aware and or if you don't reach out for help, you end up in this place where you're so overwhelmed.

Yeah. And you're so like, oh my gosh. And then at that point, it's even harder to reach out if you haven't already. Yeah. And I remember going through that. Yeah. A lot in my life, and one thing I've learned over the years is when I'm starting to struggle with anything like that and I start to feel the urge to, to back away into, go into my corner or whatever, yeah.

I don't even, I don't care if it's just reaching out and saying, Hey, please, I need prayer. Even if it's just that, and I can't even say anything else. Mm-hmm. And a lot of times that's all it takes and stuff starts to break off. Yeah. But I love how you and I have over the years, we've developed that kind of relationship that we can come to each other and say, baby, let's, I need to pray, or I need you.

Can we talk? Because when you expose lies, you notice how when you expose the lies, it's like, it's almost like, it just, it's like clarity comes and you're like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Like that was all not true. 

Absolutely. Yeah. How many times has that happened with us? Yeah. The enemy loves to, to isolate. He loves to socialize and isolate us as believers, and we have to catch that.

Mm-hmm. We have to. Yes. You know, that's one of the devices that he uses, you know, and, and I like what the Apostle Paul said. He said, we're not ignorant of his devices. We're not ignorant of his schemes. Yes. If. The devil can get us to the part or keep ourselves away or, or isolate ourselves from one another.

He's got us. 

Yeah, that's it. That's what, that's what he does. That's how, that's one of his, his subtle tactics that he 

uses. I can say this, that when I've had some of my hardest moments and have come just in conversation with you. There's something that you carry, but I believe that every believer carries this.

Mm-hmm. Every real believer. Yeah. There's something that you, you carry that just being in conversation with you and talking about, a lot of times I didn't really hit the subject outright, but I said enough to get it out in the open. Mm-hmm. And just that and hearing you talk. It did something like it broke, like whatever the light is that we carry as believers.

Yeah. That that in itself breaks the darkness. Yeah. Over our lives. Mm-hmm. It breaks depression. Yeah. We carry a presence that breaks. Demonic depression. Yeah. And op and oppression. Yeah. From our lives. Yep. You know? So that's one reason why it's so important to stay connected Exactly. To the body of Christ.

Stay connected to believers and not isolate ourselves. That's right. Because we carry God's presence. Yep. That's the truth. And, and the Lord said that where two or more are gathered in his name, he's there and he, and if he's there, There is an anointing, there's a break. That's it. Whatever it is you're going through.

Exactly. Yep. That's so true. And that's what the enemy tries to keep you away from. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so I'll say this. If there's anybody listening and you, you currently find yourself struggling with that or you do struggle with that from time to time, remember that's the best thing to do is, and it's, it's funny cuz it's the thing that you really don't feel like doing.

So when you're struggling in those moments, it's like that's the last thing you actually feel like doing is reaching out for help or you know, you, everything in you just wants to like, Go in your corner, go under your covers in your bed or whatever, you know, and mm-hmm. And it's like it's all of it is lies.

It really is. And you have to be able to, um, You have to be able to spot it and to, and to know that it's okay to say help. I need help. Yeah. We have to be okay crying out for help because we are a one body, we're, we're not meant to be out here on our own, just doing our own thing and just trying to make it all out here on our own.

That's not what God had in in mind for us. You know, we are one body and Right. We need each other. Right. Yeah. Like you said, there is something that we all carry and it's God's presence. It's God's truth. Mm-hmm. And when we are walking in that that's how it should be. People should be able to come to you and, and feel God's presence and feel God's comfort and feel whatever it is that's needed.

Yeah. And. That's one thing I do, I love about you and I, that we have that relationship. We've been able to do that. But I love the fact that God has also brought other people into our lives that I can say, now I know I can reach out to this person or that person. Mm-hmm. And just, you know, whether it's just for prayer or a, a word of counsel or whatever.

Mm-hmm. And it, it's such a blessing to know that's there. Yeah. That we're not alone. Yeah. I, I think that's something that is, is really, it's good for people to know right now because there's a lot of people that are dealing with this. I really feel like there's a lot of people that the enemy has really been trying to pull away and people that the enemy has been trying to just bully and put in a corner.

Hmm. Especially in an hour and a time when we need to be together, we need to come together and strengthen each other and And encourage each other. Yeah. Yeah. So that's one thing that's been in my mind. You got anything? 

Yeah, I can say that. I see that the Lord is putting his body together. He's bringing, he's doing healing.

He's doing in doing internal healing on people. And the devil doesn't like that. True. He doesn't like that. We are right now in a time where God is lifting up his church, he's cleaning the house. Yeah. He's doing a major overhaul. Mm-hmm. And the devil's not gonna. Sit there with his arms crossed and do nothing.

He is gonna come after us. He's gonna come after our weaknesses. Mm-hmm. And I think it's important that we work in the areas we work on, those areas where we're weak. Mm. I like that. That's true. We surrender those areas unto the Lord because that's what the enemy's gonna come after. Wherever you lack healing, wherever.

Um. You have, say, an addictive behavior or anything like that, the enemy will try to use that to bring you down. Mm-hmm. And it's important to come to the Lord and ask him for the grace to overcome. Yeah. Or just simply ask him to heal those areas, surrender those areas unto him and let the Lord deal with those areas.

But we gotta come to him. Yeah. Because if we don't, we are gonna hit a wall. Mm-hmm. We're gonna come up into situations where we're gonna get stuck. Yep. And it's gonna be our own fault. But if we surrender again, if we surrender those areas onto the Lord, we will see progress and we'll be able to get through.

You know? But the important thing again, is to come together. Yeah. Anything that's hindering you coming together. With the body. Those are things you gotta check. Yes. Those are areas you want to attack, is the areas where it's impeding your relationships. Mm-hmm. 

Yeah. You said, I like what you were saying there about what God is doing and how he's healing and stuff.

Yeah. And um, I think one of the most important things, just to add to what you said is. The willingness. Mm-hmm. The willingness to, the willingness and the openness, I guess to God. To allow him into all the spaces. Mm-hmm. And to allow him to even show you, like sometimes there's things you don't realize that have affected you.

Mm-hmm. Or there's things that you've bottled up for years because a lot of people maybe come out of the same stuff that we have over the years that just have gotten used to bottling things up and just keep moving. Cuz that's all you ever knew. Yeah. But. When you are coming out of that, that's yous cool will find that there's moments where Holy Spirit will highlight things or bring things to the surface that you did not realize were still there.

Mm-hmm. Or maybe you just, it's new. Maybe you didn't even realize that was ever there. Yeah. And the reason why Holy Spirit does that is so that you can surrender it to him and let him heal you. Yeah. With whatever it is. That's 

really good. I can definitely relate to that because, uh, I grew up in a home, and you can say the same, but I'm gonna speak about myself.

But communication was lacking and we really didn't talk about stuff. We really didn't deal with issues. We didn't get counseling. Yeah. You know, so growing up in an environment like that, Made me a non communicator in marriage. Yes, I know. You know, I was a clam, you remember? Yep. I wouldn't talk. I wouldn't say anything.

I would stonewall. Yeah. I wouldn't deal with issues, 

you know? And then you would explode because you had all this bottled up stuff. Yeah, 

because I didn't know how to communicate. Exactly. Yeah. But I can tell you this, that. You know, we all gotta start somewhere. Mm-hmm. We all have to start somewhere. And I started in step one and I just began with the Lord humbling myself.

And secondly, I, I had to go beyond that and get some counseling. Yes. And I had to be honest with myself and I had to, uh, basically be an open book before that counselor and let him know my business. Mm-hmm. You know, if you, if we want to heal, we gotta be willing to open up. Yep. And, um, you know, that's important to just disclose and just be honest.

If you can't do it with anybody, you know, go to a counselor. Mm-hmm. That's right. Go go to somebody where you will find help. But get help. 

Yes. You said something so key, which I've seen so many times and you were like that for years, and I think I might have been that way too. I don't remember, but I hear it too much and it's so frustrating because people don't realize that it's just that one thought is keeps them from freedom and it's the thing of, oh, I can't talk to the people, or I can't tell nobody my business, I don't want nobody to know my business.

Mm-hmm. Hello. A counselor. You know somebody, there is somebody that you can trust. Yeah. Yeah. God will put somebody in. Like Carl said, if it's not somebody you know, go to a counselor. Who, and to be honest, this is what I say about it is. Who freaking cares. Yeah. Right. I hate to say it, but like why does it matter?

Yeah. What people think. Yeah. If people know your business. I mean, what, I never understood that. I think it's, I don't know if it's a pride thing, I don't know, but it's, I would've loved 

to see my face when you first told me that. 

You know? Like, It's, it's just because I remember 

when you did 

well, when I told you who freaking cares freaking cares.

I did. I was like, I was like, what? It really, when I stopped and I'm like, get over it. Like, it's like, I hate to say it, but it's like we're not that important, right? Like it does not matter what people think. How bad do you want your freedom? How bad do you want to be healed? How bad do you want to be whole?

Yeah, that's true. That's really what it boils down to because when you want it bad enough, who cares? That's gonna be your attitude. Mm-hmm. And trust me, I know there was a time where I probably was that way and I had to get over that myself. And that's how I, that honestly, now I have no problem. Hmm. I'll ask whoever it is that I need to for help.

That's so good. Because that's how we grow. 

And you know what? Holy Spirit is the best color spirit, literally. Yep. The best I can tell you that this weekend. What was the West Haven service? 

Oh, we went to Summer of Fire in West Haven y summer fire yesterday night and 

Saturday. Oh my God. I never cried so much in, in the past 10, 20 years.

I had not cried like I cried that night and the Holy Spirit was doing a cleansing inside of me. He was doing a lot. Yeah. He was doing a work inside of me, but I was releasing and I really, I was desperate. Mm-hmm. If I can say that I was desperate. I was so desperate in just crying out to the Lord mm-hmm.

And asking him to do something. Yes. To help me to do something. And he sure enough did it. Yeah. He did it. He did such a work, and honestly he began something that he will continue to do as I continue to surrender. 

That's it right there. 

Yep. But, Basically, you know, there were, there's, there were things inside of me bottled up that it was difficult for me to share with anybody.

Mm-hmm. It was diff for me, difficult for me to talk about. Yes. And that's what I was releasing. Yeah. And he understands. He knows you. He understands That's right. Everything about you. Yep. Who better to go to? 

That's it. He literally is the best counselor. The best, best friend, everything. And I think what happened with you is I feel like the Holy Spirit was already starting to break that break up the ground in that area from, I remember when we talked a few days before.

Mm-hmm. And I feel like because you were so surrendered and opened and you were so, you're so just wanting to. Wanting God's help. Yeah. Wanting to be healed. Like, yeah. That's the thing is sometimes there's so many people that they, it's like they want it, but they don't want it bad enough. Mm-hmm. If I can say it right.

Where they're willing to, even, like you said, you cried like a baby. I think I did too. And, and the, what happened to me the last time I went to West Haven was even worse. My goodness. God made a whole spectacle and I was, but I didn't care. Mm-hmm. I literally didn't care. Mm-hmm. I don't care. I don't care who sees who, who thinks what, think whatever you wanna think, cuz you know what?

I'm getting free and I'm getting healed. That's true. And God is doing a work and I just want God to have his way in my life. And there's, that's not gonna happen if I'm not whole. If I'm a, a hot mess, I can keep myself back from the things that God has for me if I'm not. Completely surrendered, and that's part of being completely surrendered.

Yeah. Being completely surrendered also means, okay, I surrender all of this stuff. I surrender every part of my life in my heart, in my mind. Mm-hmm. And all of the things that even from the past that might need to be, I need to be healed. If Holy Spirit is bringing it up, it's for a reason. Yeah. And a lot of times people miss amazing moments with God because they have that fear of man.

That fear of, oh gosh, what is so-and-so gonna think of me? That is so true. Or what is this person gonna think of me? Or what if I look stupid with tears all over my face? Or what if I look who 

cares? You know? What comes to my mind is, is the woman with the issue of blood say yes, 

exactly. Yes. She 

had to press past that crowd and that crowd and that crowd was so agitated with her.

And so it's like, get outta here. It's like, don't get near the master. Yeah. You know, they were trying to push her away 

and, and she risked 

death. Yeah. She risked everything. She did literally to touched the hem of his garment Yep. Of Jesus garment. Yep. And receive her 

healing. Exactly. But look what came of it.

And that's how we have to be with God. We gotta be desperate. We have to be. And that's, that's the best, best place to be. And, and sometimes it takes a lot to get to that place, but when you get to that place and you realize how amazing it is, it makes it easier the next time around. Hmm. Because the fact of the matter is this whole life, there's gonna always be something.

Mm-hmm. That Holy Spirit is bringing up to you or working on in your life. Absolutely. And it's a good thing and we have to learn to embrace that and embrace the fact that it's okay. Yeah. We're, none of us is gonna be perfect while we are living on this earth. We all are a work in progress and. You know, some of us have been at this for longer, but it doesn't matter how long it, we're all in the same process.

I think the important thing is that we start somewhere. Exactly. 

We start where we're at. Exactly. Even if you're older, I mean, I've seen, I've met some people who are older than me. I. I've watched as God has started them on this process and they have maybe stopped and decided they need counseling or therapy.

And I'm like, I just wanna like clap so loud for people like that. Cause I'm like, yes. You have no idea. The generational stuff, you are breaking by doing that. Yes. Because so many people from that generation don't. Do that they never learned and, and I don't know whether it's pride or just whatever, I don't know what it is that keeps them from, you know, being willing to admit that they have issues and they might need help.

Hmm. And I tell you what I've told my kids, and I will always tell them, I don't ever wanna be. Older and get to that place where I think I know so much or I think I'm so this or that, that I don't need help and that I, and no way I, I told David that one day. I said, I said, listen son, I said, I give you kids full permission when I'm older if I ever, you see that I need help.

And I'm like, no, no. I don't need help. No, I'm good. I'm good. I don't need help. And I'm, and it's obvious that I need the help you remind me of this conversation and smack me in the back of the head and say, ma, Remember that conversation. Mm-hmm. And, and I will, I promise you, I will, I will act right. Mm-hmm.

Because it's, you know, I don't ever, I don't ever wanna lose that because it's also, I feel like that's also humility. Mm-hmm. If you can't ask for help, then you know, you're really not, you don't, you're not walking in humility. Mm. True. It takes humility to ask for help. And we have to know that's what, how God has called us to walk.

Yeah. We're supposed to walk and live in that place of humility and there's a reason we need help. Yeah. Because if we all can make it on our own, why would we need the body? 

Absolutely. Yeah. That's true. That's 

very true. That's, that's just it right there. We, we need each other and we need to be okay with asking for the help, not just from people, but like you said, I agree with that Holy Spirit more than anything.

Because Holy Spirit is the one who knows us deep inside, outside. And I can say for myself, there was many years before I actually went to a re regular person counselor that I feel like that was the only one I had was Holy Spirit, because that was before therapists and counselors were ever talked about.

Wow. But I always say Holy Spirit was the best counselor and therapist that I had at that time, and I learned so much. During that time, and I'm thankful because that that's, it's kind of cool when you look at your walk with God that everything that we've gone through, everything that God has brought us through mm-hmm.

Is not for us. It God is always gonna take that and recycle it, and you're gonna use that to help somebody else out later. He's going to bring somebody into your life that needs to hear what you went through, how you got through it, and so you can walk them through the same thing or even help them to avoid it.

Or tell them, listen, true. I went through this. If you do this, trust me, you don't wanna go through the same thing. And, and it's amazing when you can be part of that and watch. God work in that way through you. Like I always say, I'm like, I've been through so much crap in my life. We both have. I mean, we all have a story.

Mm-hmm. I'm not trying to say mine's worse than nobody's. Mm-hmm. But we all have a story and God can take that story and use it to help somebody else's life to either avoid going into this ditch or to. Be better to come through where they're at right now. 

And that is true about, just about anybody. Yeah, it is.

If we just ran to God with our mess, he could turn that mess into something so beautiful. 

Yes, he really does. He has such an amazing way of doing that. And even though sometimes it can seem like when you're in the middle of that process or you're, sometimes you're in one of those really hard moments where, It's overwhelming and you got all the feelings and the frustration and the mm-hmm.

And the hurt. Maybe you're feeling hurt. You know, I remember some of the moments we had personally and in our marriage and there was some of the hardest moments, I'm not gonna lie, it was hard. And there was some of those moments I didn't have somebody to reach out to, I can honestly say. Mm-hmm. Because back then the stuff we were dealing with was kind of taboo in the church.

Yeah. People didn't talk about addictions back then, right? People didn't talk about what's it like to be married to an addict? Nobody talked about that stuff. So yeah, to if, if we went to somebody a lot of times, I don't know, maybe they would've been like, well, just pray, read your Bible and speak your word.

And I mean, that's all. Yeah. Don't get me wrong. The word of God is powerful. Prayer is parable, but there is a reason that God put counselors in this world. And it's like, I always say it's like, you know medicine. Yeah. I don't know about medicine right now, but there's a reason for, that's another story.

There's a reason why doctors are on the earth, you know? Mm-hmm. I believe God. There's a reason for all of these things, and it's okay to need a therapist or a counselor sometimes, but you know, in those dark, dark moments, if, if there really isn't anybody, holy Spirit will be there. And you just have to be willing to surrender, to let go, to do whatever you have to do.

Mm-hmm. But if you feel overwhelmed and you feel, you know, you're in one of those hard places, just know that God will be there with you through it and he'll bring you through if you don't let go. Yeah. There's always, always 

hope. Yeah. Reach out to him. Yeah. Call on him. Yeah. He, he is more than willing to help you.

Yes. And he will help you to get through that. He'll help you with the pain, the burden, whatever it is you're carrying. Yes. A lot of times that the things that we are experiencing at the present moment that are really hard to deal with are rooted in things from our childhood. Mm-hmm. We're having a difficult time now because we never really learned to cope or how to get through them as a child.

Yeah. And those are things that are deeply entrenched inside of us, and it takes time to work through those things. So. Releasing those things unto the Lord is the best thing we can do because he knows us better than we know ourselves. Yeah, he does. And he knows how to tweak and reach in there and rewire us.

That's 

it. Yep. I can add what you said about childhood stuff and another thing is, you know, there's sometimes things that we just don't know that we don't know. Like when we first got married and we didn't realize that, we didn't know how to communicate. Mm-hmm. But the game changer for us was that we were willing to learn.

Yeah. That is another huge thing that I don't care how old you are, you have to be willing to learn because if you're not willing to learn, you literally are not growing. You are staying stunted in one place and becoming stale and old. Yeah. And that's not God's best for us. God wants us to grow so we can also help other people, but.

It takes humility again, to be willing to learn and to be willing to even admit that maybe I don't know this. Yeah, maybe I need to get help with this. And communication is a big one because I know, I remember for us, there was a lot of issues in our marriage that could have been avoided had we known how to communicate with each other.

Mm-hmm. You know, you didn't know how to communicate. At first, I didn't know how to communicate, and then I started buying all the books and listening to Joyce Meyer and listening to this person and Jimmy Evans and everybody I could get my hands on to learn, because I wanted to learn what it meant like to really communicate well.

Mm-hmm. And then that was when we started to really get some breakthrough in our marriage. Cuz I learned how to speak to you and how to not speak to you. And, and I appreciate that. I know, and it it, we were just, we were just talking about this. Yeah. It did wonders. Yeah. I mean, I learned to be like careful and to watch you and to know that, okay, you might be dealing with something right now, so right now might not be the time to come out and.

Ask you about this or get critical, or whatever it is. Mm-hmm. You know? Cause I used to be that way. Mm-hmm. And I had to learn through a lot of trial and error and a lot of arguments and stuff. But now it's so much better because we know how to be sensitive to each other. We know how to read each other and we know how to be understanding with each other.

Yeah. And approach each other the right way. And, and not just attack each other, can just conversate and just, you know, Hey babe, how, how are you doing? And it took us, it took us time though again, we had to be willing to learn. We had to be willing to be open and let God do what he wanted to do. Hmm. I think that is the conclusion of our conversation today.

Out on the deck. Hey, a new name on the deck with Des Carlos. Walk 

the talk on the deck. 

Oh my goodness. We're silly. Oh, all right. So we're gonna leave it here and hope everybody has a great week. God bless you guys. 

Bye.