Let's Talk About Emotions

Do your emotions run your life? Do you realize that you can control your emotions rather than your emotions control you? This week Dez & Carlos talk about this and more.

Transcript

Hello everybody. Welcome back to Walk the Talk with Dez & Carlos, welcome back everyone. Hope everybody has had a good week last week and a good weekend. And we are here right before 4th of July recording this. And if you have not got to listen to the last couple episodes, definitely check them out. We had some really good conversation about renewing the mind, which as we said is.

A huge, huge topic for believers. It's something that's so important for our lives. Mm-hmm. So definitely go ahead and check that out when you 

can. Yes. I think about both of those episodes and there is so much more we could have touched on. I know, but there's so little time to talk about them. But we will definitely be revisiting those topics.

Yeah, because renewing the mind is so important, like you mentioned. Mm-hmm. And it applies to so many things, just about everything in life. If your mind's jacked up. I mean, you're, you are not gonna be able to really handle life. Mm-hmm. And the challenges that it presents. Yes. 

We talked a little bit in one of those episodes about our emotions and how our thoughts are connected to our feelings and our emotions, as well as everything else, our speech and everything.

Mm-hmm. But, Our emotional health is something that is, it's something that we see a lot. There's a lot of people that need. Healing in their emotions. Mm-hmm. And it's not something that you hear too much talk about. And like we talked about, I think it was the last episode, that some people just, they wake up and they feel a certain way and they let that rule the whole rest of their day.

Yeah. And they think that that's just the way that it has to be. Right. And I. That's not the truth. That is, uh, that's honestly, it's a lie. And it's a lie that I think a lot of people don't realize. A lot of people don't realize that we actually can control our emotions. We have a choice. Just like we have a choice to resist or to reject a thought that comes into our mind.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. We have the same ability when it comes to our emotions, and I know emotions can be really strong. Mm-hmm. You know, I remember I. I'll, I'll give an example. As a female, and I know some females might not like be saying this, but it, it is true that, you know, when it's that time of the month, you know, a lot of women use that as an excuse for, oh, it's at time of the month.

Mm-hmm. And you remember, I used to get so irritable and I was very moody. It was not pretty. But I remember during a certain time in my life when I was actually reading Ba Battlefield of the Mind that I. Joyce Meyer started to talk about that and it hit home. I was like, oh, snap. When she was talking about, I.

Herself and how God was teaching her that you actually, it's up to us. Yeah. To choose to discipline ourselves and, and control our emotions. Right. Take control. Yeah. And I think as a woman, like I had never really heard that before, so I just, you know, I was 

used to, you thought if you felt a certain way then that, that's just it.

You just had to act that way. Yeah. You just feel that. So that's just it. You have no control over it. Yeah. And I remember when it was, It was me going through that and learning that. Whew. That was a hard pill to swallow, but I know, I was like, okay, God. I asked Holy Spirit. I'm like, I need your help. Because I start, it started to make me look at my attitudes and the way that I would.

Carry myself when I was feeling certain ways. Yeah. And I realized when I started to actually step back and take a look at myself, or even when I would get Snap at the kids or whatever it was or at you, or if I just felt depressed or it's like Holy Spirit started to actually show me myself. Mm-hmm. And it's as hard as that was, it was like, It was good because I realized, dang, I really do need to work on this.

Mm-hmm. Because I thought about it and I was like, I don't wanna be that wife or that mother that that's what my kids remember, or that's what you remember Yeah. Is Oh yeah. That whenever it's that time of the month, you know, don't mess with her. Don't bother her. Mm-hmm. You know? So I had to start really working on that and really allowing Holy Spirit to pinpoint and show me.

Especially like when it would start. Mm-hmm. Because just like thoughts, I mean, emotion starts with a thought. So if you wake up and you're like, you're feeling, and yeah, granted sometimes I was like in pain or whatever, but. I even learned that you can be in pain and you don't have to be miserable and treat everybody like garbage.

Right. You know? Cuz it was a point where I was like, I would be irritable and I would be moody and I would be like cranky because I was in pain or I had back pain or something. Yeah. And I remember Holy Spirit would show me that, why are you treating people that way? Right. Right. Why are you acting that way and.

I had to own up to it and, and even learn to apologize and be like, I'm sorry guys. Mm-hmm. You know, I'm sorry. And I remember, I think I remember the first time that I did that with the kids, they kind of looked at me like, mm-hmm. Whoa. And I was like, oh gosh, this is so bad that they, you know, they'd gotten so used to the way that I was before.

Mm-hmm. But it, it was good. It was a good change. Yeah. You know, and it started us, it started. Turning a lot of things around 

in our home. Yeah. Isn't that something when you, like you said you noticed how you was behaving and you humble yourself. Yeah. And you say, guys, I'm sorry. I was acting like a fool just now.

I, I was just letting my emotions get the best of me and that does something. So, especially like in a family setting, your kids. Mm-hmm. You know, it really does. Something in the home when you humble yourself and admit, Hey, I was wrong. I treated you like this. I let my emotions get the best of me. Yeah, 

that's true.

I remember when you started to do the same thing. Mm-hmm. You know, with you, I think it was more anger. Yeah. That was a whole other thing. But when you started to realize, actually look at how you were acting Yeah. And how it would hurt people around you. It was the same thing. I feel like it brought healing.

Yeah, like just that act, people don't realize that that does start something, it starts healing so, And it, it, it does because when you, when you're just, you're not disciplined at all in that area, and you just act however you want. Mm-hmm. And treat people however you want, talk however you want, you're really in the flesh.

Yeah, that's true. When you think about it, you're really in the flesh and there's nothing good in the flesh, you know? And it's not, I can say it's not easy, but it's like anything else, it's a process. Mm-hmm. You start and you just determine, you get at it yourself. You as you do it, you keep doing it. And start with whatever Holy Spirit highlights to you, because I know for me that was, it was my desire to be.

I. Whole and to be healthy in every area. And as hard as it was, because I was a jacked up mess in my mind and my emotions and everything. Yeah. But when Holy Spirit was showing me that, and God used Joyce Meyer like crazy in so many ways to teach me and show me what it looked like to actually be healthy.

Mm-hmm. And my emotions was a big one because, I mean, with the rejection I dealt with and everything else, I perceived everything wrong. Yeah. And that's something else that I, I kind of wanted to touch on was, you know, when you are unhealed in your emotions, you can perceive things through a bad lens. Yes, yes.

And we both have been there. Mm-hmm. And we've seen it in so many people, but that's one reason, another reason why it's so important to seek. Healing and your emotions if you need that. Mm-hmm. And if you don't need that, then that's amazing and thank God for that. But you know, if you feel like you do, then take it and ask Holy Spirit, get before God and ask him.

Yeah. To show you, because he will, he know. Start looking at yourself and look how you are with in certain situations. And yes, we're human and we all have moments, you know, we all have moments of frustration and whatever, but it's, I. The more that you grow in this area and you are healed in your emotions.

Yeah. The easier those mo other moments get and even the hard, hard moments still, it's still easier to manage. Yeah. Because your emotions are not out of control and you can actually stop and realize, wait a minute, okay, I know this is going on. I might feel frustrated, I might feel angry, I might feel whatever it is, but I can take a step back and say, Okay.

I might feel this way, but let me, let me do what I have to do. If you have to let it out, then punch a punching bag or go for a walk or Yeah. You know, get along with God or whatever it is that you need. Cause everybody's different. Or talk to somebody. Yeah, yeah. Do whatever you have to do, but then gather yourself and focus and.

Keep going and, and if you have to apologize to somebody, if you lash out on somebody, then, then, like Carl said, humble yourself and ask for forgiveness, you know, apologize and say, gosh, you know, I'm sorry. I did not mean to act that way. I was just, I was dealing with this or dealing with that. But heal emotions are, it's something that affects everybody around you.

Yeah. If you are not healed in your emotions, and I can, I'm a witness to that. I used to, I used to snap at my kids. I used to snap at Carl's, sometimes I would, I would have a nasty attitude. Mm-hmm. And you know, a lot of other things, I, it was gross. Yeah. I look back now and I'm like, oof. I, that wasn't pretty.

Yeah. You know, and I thought about it. I remember one time when our oldest, she was about maybe three, three or four, I don't remember, but I remember. The attitude that she gave me one day in my face and Holy Spirit used that little girl like a mirror and was like, Where do you think she got that from? Wow.

And I was like, oh. It was like a punch to the gut. Yeah. I was like, what? Isn't 

it something, however, looking at our children when they misbehave, it's the perfect mirror. 

Mm-hmm. Especially when they're little. See where we're at. Yeah. Because they're sponges. Right? They're literally learning everything from us.

Right. 

They see us act a certain way. They say, okay, so that's how you're supposed to act. Mm-hmm. 

Yeah. Yep. And I remember when Holy Spirit showed me that, I was like, oh my goodness. Mm-hmm. Like, what am I doing? And then it forced me to really check myself and start act, acting right. And checking my attitudes.

Yeah. And thankfully it was in time enough where I was able to then turn things around in the home and as a mother and model to my kids what a better attitude look like. Yeah. You know, and, and of course, like I said, we're, none of us are perfect. Even we still have moments, you know, where we, we might have to get ourselves in line.

Mm-hmm. But it's, it's, it's so much easier when you allow Holy Spirit to heal you and show you. What you're actually like, what you're acting like and mm-hmm. And how it affects other people. Yeah. You know, and I look at our kids now and, and I'm proud of our kids because they have, they've turned into really h healthy individuals.

I mean, they have stuff I'm sure they're working through as well, but mm-hmm. But overall, had we not chosen to do that, And had we not chosen to allow God to heal that part of us, they would've been a hot 

mess. Yes. We would've been literally passing that curse over onto them. Yes. And they would've it, perhaps it would've been worse.

Exactly. Yep. Because 

curses magnify as they go from one generation to the next one. That's so true. 

That 

is so true. But I'm so thankful that we. Made a decision exactly to deal with our stuff. To be open about it and to talk. Yeah. That's so important. It's so important just getting things out in the open.

Cuz I think one of the things that gets your emotions jacked up is when you don't talk. Mm. That's so true. When you just bottle things up, things happen at work or wherever, and you don't talk to anybody, you, there's no outlet. There's no, uh, no person you can go to or trust or whatever to, to let that out and talk about it, but there's always somebody you can go to, whether it's a counselor, whether it's a pastor or a friend, or it could be a, a trusted relative.

Yeah, you can always go to somebody, even if it's God, holy Spirit, Lord, help me, help me in this situation. I don't know what to do. Blah, blah, blah. This is going on. This person's irritating me. You know, it's true. I like, uh, as a biblical example of this is David. David. That's so true. Always went to the Lord and he would empty out before him.

Yeah. And he would let out his frustrations. Mm-hmm. He didn't go to anybody else. He probably didn't have anybody else, but he had God. And you could read it throughout all the Psalms. Yeah. Where he would go before the Lord and let out his frustrations, the things that bothered him, the things that he couldn't really talk to anybody about.

Hmm. But he went to the Lord and, and always, and towards the end of the psalm, his hope was in God, his trust was in God. Exactly. He knew that the Lord had his back. Right in that situation and and that's so powerful because if we can't go to anybody, we always have him. 

That's right. That's so true. I love that, that, like you said, I love that about the Psalms because there's some of, some of them, I, I mean, I, I'm sure we all can read them and relate, you know, some of the moments he had were like mm-hmm.

He was just like emptying everything out. Yeah. Before God, like, God, I'm angry about this. Yeah. Uh, this hurts. Oh my enemies. Oh. 

But then there's moments when When he was depressed. Yeah. And he would say, why are you cast down? Oh my soul. Why are you so discomforted within me? Yep. Hoping God, 

yes, there were so many.

That's such a good example because, I mean, you could probably find every emotion in the Psalms. Mm-hmm. But at the end of everyone, like you said, he always turned it around and he always gave praise to God. Mm-hmm. Which is such a good example to us. That's how we're supposed to be at the end of it all.

Let's do what you gotta do. Get it out. Yeah. Do whatever you have to do. Talk to somebody, talk to the Lord, empty it out, but turn it around and look at how good God is. Mm-hmm. Look at all the things that he. Has brought you through. 

You know, holy Spirit is that friend that sticks closer than a brother.

That is the truth. And I think I mentioned this, I don't know if it was the last podcast episode or the one previous to that, where I went a while without going to Holy Spirit, without asking Holy Spirit for help. I went for a lengthy time and I regretted it because I went through the hardest moments in life where.

I had no one. I had no one. And had I not humbled myself and, um, asked him for some help and let him know my frustrations and invited him in my life, I wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be here talking about it. But thank God that I did humble myself and allowed him to help me. And you know, holy Spirit really is there to help in the time of need.

He's. There to be our comfort. He's there to be our strength. He's there to be our friend when nobody else is there. Mm-hmm. And he's a very real person. He's not a thing, he's not a power. He is a person. Yeah. He's the person of the Holy Spirit. Yeah. And he's available to us. Why not take advantage of that?

He's, he, he really is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. 

Yep. The other thing you made me think of is that when you are, when you're on not healing your emotions and you are, you're like, you said it. That's so true. It tends to happen where, where a lot of people that deal with. Things all by themselves.

They just end up all by themselves. They end up alone. And I know I've been there, I'm sure a lot everybody has been there at one point's, been allowed to isolate. Exactly. And what happens is when you allow yourself to be isolated and you. You are unhealed in those areas. You are so much more susceptible to lies of the enemy.

Yes. And to deception. Yes. And we both have been there. Mm-hmm. And the enemy will even lie to you and tell you that nobody cares. Yeah. That you can't talk trust anybody. Yeah. Or. Nobody's gonna understand. Mm-hmm. What are people gonna think? I mean, there's, it's such a lie. There's so many things that the enemy will try to feed you, to make you believe, to keep you alone, to keep you from reaching out and to keep you from connecting with the people who actually can help you.

Yeah, because the factor of the matter is there's, there's always someone. Yeah, there is always someone and, and maybe you do find yourself in a place where you, maybe you just don't have close friends or people that you trust. Find a counselor. Yeah, find, find a therapist or somebody. But like Carlos said, when there is not a human being around that you can find, or if you can't afford a coun, a counselor, or a therapist, talk to God, talk to Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit really is. I mean, yes. Okay. We can't see God, but we, he's there, he's real. You can feel his presence and you. Mm-hmm. You just know when you, when you walk with God and you have that relationship with him and you turn to him, he will let himself be known to you. Yes. And you will just have that confidence and you just know that he's there.

Yes. That you open your mouth and he's right there and he. Brings you comfort and he, he helps you. And it's such a supernatural thing. It's not even something that we can sit here and tell you, oh, it looks like this or like that, because it is completely spiritual and supernatural thing. But he does, he brings such a healing to your emotions and he brings such a, he helps you.

And he brings peace and so many other things. The Holy Spirit is literally, like Carl said, closer than a brother, closer than anybody, anybody that, that you can touch, which seems weird when you're, you know, you're talking about it, but it really, that's really how it is. And you can trust God. You can, you can empty out all the stuff to him.

Amen. 

Yep. 

It's so good. It is funny because I was thinking, I think it was yesterday, no, the day before, I had a moment. You ever have those moments when you're driving and it was just like the Lord was just bringing back certain memories to me and certain moments in my life and he was bringing back one of the moments that I went through and it was probably, I.

When our marriage was going through a lot, and I remember there was a, a moment that I had that was so dark and so overwhelming and the depression and even the suicidal thoughts that I struggled with, and it was just, it was a lot, but I remember it was one of the darkest moments where I really felt so alone, but I remember how.

I turned to God. I did. I remember when that happened. I drove someplace. I don't remember where it was, and I, I was alone in my car. I've had a lot of moments in my car with God, but I was driving and I pulled over someplace and I was just crying, like I bawled my eyes out because I was like, I felt so alone.

I felt like back then I couldn't talk to people about what I was dealing with because, Uh, church was different back then. Mm-hmm. You didn't, you couldn't really talk to people about the stuff that we were dealing with at the time. People didn't talk about addictions and people didn't talk about all these deep things.

It was always, you know, they'll pray with you, but like, actually digging deep like that, it wasn't something that we really heard a lot about, you know? So here I was and I was dealing with this excruciating. The stuff like being, being married to you at that time with what you were going through? Being a mother of three little kids and trying to function and working and doing all the stuff that I had to do.

And we were in ministry at the time too. Mm-hmm. It was so overwhelming at that point, I reached this breaking point. I remember where I just was like, I don't, I, I felt like I literally could, did not have anything left. I felt so drained. I felt like I literally just was gonna break. Mm-hmm. And I remember even telling God, Lord, I just, I feel like my heart is physically going to break.

Like, I feel like I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm just, I'm done. Like I don't wanna do this anymore. And gosh, the way that. He comforted me in that moment, the way that he turned that around and the way that he just, it's like I felt so flooded with his love and what made me wow, what I walked away with and what I was thinking about.

Yes. When I, when this came back to me was how, when we have those hard moments, some of the hardest, most excruciating moments of our life, God is the closest and he, you. You will feel his, his love and his comfort when you run to him in that way and you cry and you empty out to him even when it feels like, like you just don't know how to let go.

I remember I, I was at a point where I felt like I had been afraid to cry for so long. Hmm. Because I felt like if I started to cry, like I was never gonna stop. Yeah. I felt like I was so overwhelmed inside that if I let go, I was gonna lose control and I was gonna break. Yes. But I remember, I remember God letting me feel like it's okay.

Like I can, you can trust me. Like yes. I will hold you and I will carry you through this. And that's literally what he told me at that moment. He says, I have you. And it made me cry even more. And I was like, I was such a wreck. But it's like, I remember those cl, those moments were moments that drew me so close to God.

Hmm. Like I, I developed such a closeness with him during those times. And, and I say that to tell anybody that, you know, if you're going through anything in life, I. And we all are eventually gonna go through hard moments that really hurt, that are really hard run to God. Absolutely. Because he, he's the best one to comfort you.

He can take all the stuff, cuz sometimes we feel like it's too much. It's not an, it's not too much for God. God can handle it and he can take it all and he supernaturally heals you when you run to him like that. 

I'm gonna read a. Scripture that really goes with what we're talking about. Luke four verse 18.

It says, the spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor, and this is Jesus speaking. He has sent me to heal the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind to set at liberty those who are oppressed. And sometimes we may feel that way.

We may feel we are in such a bind emotionally. And you know, the enemy takes advantage of wounded emotions. Mm-hmm. And he does bring oppression. But there is liberty in Christ. Yeah. We have a God we can call on a God who is mighty. A God who is powerful. Yes. 

Yep. That is the truth. 

How many times have you and I called on him 

countless times?

This is way too many to count. 

Yep. God is greater than the enemy and he's greater than. That's right. Any circumstance or any issue mm-hmm. That we may be going through, I am so thankful for him. Yeah. You know, I realize now something that I didn't know when we first came to the Lord that salvation is, Much more than we, than what we think.

God saved us from an eternity, eternity in hell. Excuse me. But salvation goes further than that. It's deliverance, it's healing. It's um, it's daily deliverance from the afflictions of the enemy, the things, the daily battles that we face. His saving grace is there for all of those things. Anything that we.

Suffer in this life. God is able to make a way. Mm-hmm. He is able to lead us through it. He's able to, with his wisdom, empower us to overcome Yes. As we call on him. That's 

it. That's the key right there. Mm-hmm. Yep. He's greater than all of it. He's greater. He can handle. All of it. He can handle all of the emotions, he can handle all of this stuff.

Everything that we feel, he can handle it and he and he can help us and walk us through all of it. Yes. 

The Bible says that he's all knowing. Yeah. He knows all. Yeah. He knows past, present, future. He knows what you're about to go through. Yeah. He also sees the breakthrough. That's right. That you don't see.

Yep. He knows all things. He's all powerful. Mm-hmm. That's right. He's almighty and he is everywhere at the same time. Yes. Yep. He is a mighty God. That's 

so true. There's one thing I tell people is because sometimes when you're feeling, you're going through moments and sometimes you feel like you just don't even know how to talk.

I tell people. God already knows He, he literally already knows. And some people are like, well, yeah, why do I have to say anything to God? Because if he already knows, well, yeah, but you know what? It does something for you. Mm-hmm. When you tell him he's there, but he wants to hear it from you. He, he wants to spend that time with you.

He wants you to confide in him. Yes. You. Your walk with God grows so much when you open up to him and when you talk to him, you're letting him in. You're letting him into all the spaces. You're letting him into the hard moment, into the stuff that you don't understand. Yes. And those are the moments that draw you closer to God.

Yes. If you struggle with getting closer to God, that's a, that's a big way is just allowing him, the trusting him. Yes. You know? Yes. God knows everything. Mm-hmm. Yes. God knows our minds and our thoughts, and he knows what's coming, but he wants us to come to him and he wants us to, to draw near to him.

Mm-hmm. It's, the Bible says, For us to draw near to him, he'll, he'll come close to us, but we have to draw close to him. Right. That's an effort. Draw near to God and he'll draw near to you. Exactly. And but it takes us drawing near, yes, God's there, but he's not gonna just come and be like, come here, he's, he's like, come on, I'm right here.

You know, I love you and I'm here for you, but I need you to reach, I need you to come close and here I am. You know, that's how he is. And he's, when you let him in that way, forget it. You're just gonna, you're gonna wanna keep coming back cuz you're gonna feel his comfort. Mm-hmm. And you're gonna feel his love for you.

And his love is amazing. His love heals all the parts of your life, every area of your life. Yes. And overall, what we were talking about today was our emotions and healing and stuff like that, but, I also just wanna put it out there if there's anybody who does not know Jesus, I. Then ask him into your heart.

Just simply tell him, Jesus, be the Lord of my life. Forgive me of my sins. I want you to be Lord and Savior of my life. Help me to be better. Help me to, to let go of what I have to let go of and, and help me to walk this walk and find people. Find a church, a good, healthy church. Get yourself, yourself a bible.

And reach, reach out to him, talk to him. Mm-hmm. And you'll find how he will literally change your life. Yes. And if you do know him and you're struggling in any area, then reach out to him. And if you're not struggling, well praise God. Mm-hmm. And, and one thing I always say that we actually talk about a lot is always take time to be thankful.

To look at where God has brought you from. Yes. I'll tell you what, whenever I have those moments, I literally sit there sometimes and I just cry. Not, not sad tears, but like tears of joy. Mm-hmm. And just gratefulness. Mm-hmm. And it overwhelms me because I look at my goodness, I never thought that I would be healed in where I am right now in life.

Mm. There was a point where I really never saw past my pain. I never saw past all the hurt. I never saw past the rejection. I never saw past the fear. Wow. I never saw past the, the low self-esteem. I never saw past all of the stuff, the heartbreak. I never saw past that for so many years. I s I was in this place and it felt like I was going to be there forever.

Wow. There was a point I thought I was gonna die from it. I remember thinking, my god, my heart, I can't handle anymore. I, I'm gonna die from this. Wow. I really thought that. And I thank God because I look back and, and I'm grateful because as hard as all that was, and I know we've said this before, but I would go through it again.

Hmm. Because God used all of that to make you, to make me who I am. To make us who we are. Yeah. He made us strong. He made us, and not only that, I love it because now we can take everything that we've been through and we can help somebody else. That's right. And we can help people avoid the things that we've went through.

That is so true, and that to me is worth everything. Mm-hmm. It, it makes everything that we went through worth it. Absolutely. So I think, I think that's a good place to end for today, but, Thank you guys for listening and we praying for you all and we hope y'all have a great 4th of July. By the time this is out, it's probably gonna be 4th of July, but we hope y'all have a great rest of your week and we love you guys.

God bless you guys.